Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
