Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
