ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
this just has baby written all over it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
