there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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