i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
