I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Your dad touched me again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
