That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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