I cannot find my penis.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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