brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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