Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
