I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
