we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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