so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
