THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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