I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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