Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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