Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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