He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
