When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize