just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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