I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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