I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
