I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You can't special order awesome
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
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