My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
