Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
