remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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