sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
