You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
