A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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