I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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