I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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