whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
