Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
