So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
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