I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
