Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
