you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
