I like to think it a success when the cops are called
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
