I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize