FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
