she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I just put wine in my tea
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
