Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
