Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
