and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
