white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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