I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
