your parents love me but you hate me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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