she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
