I'm jealous of your bromance
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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