he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
