i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
