I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
