Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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