just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
