Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
As shirtless as possible
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize