He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
