It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize