So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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