Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
MIDGETS
????
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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