guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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