Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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