Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
