are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
